Friday, June 26, 2009

Where to begin?

So, a friend from work sent me her blog and it seems fantastic. A great way to sort through some of the feelings you have about life, with quite a bit of anonymity. But it raises a lot of questions. How much to post? Do I mention that My Nemesis is driving me insane? If someone stumbled across my blog, would they be surprised to find out how boring I really am?

So, where to start? I just turned 40 and I'm searching for some meaning in my life. I try not to let my job define me, but I always seem to be working, so I guess it's a good a place as any. I love my job, most of the time. I really love most of the people I work with, though I usually talk to them only on the phone or via IM or email. There is one person at work that I'm currently fed up with, but I can't even express my feelings on how miserable she is making me while working on my current client.

Outside of work, I'm really quite boring. I started exercising a lot in January, when I realized that my 40th birthday was coming up and managed to lose 25 lbs. I have a wonderful husband, who started out as my best friend, 3 daughters, 2 dogs (Sunny and Brandy) and 2 cats(Tabitha and Loki).

Last year, we had 2 dogs, 1 cat, 1 rabbit and a guinea pig. Unfortunately, the guinea pig died first (she was 6... pretty old for a guinea pig) of cancer. In October, we found 3 orphaned/abandoned kittens who were about 3 weeks old. I bottle fed them and raised them until they were old enough to find homes. But the little guy who almost died, I couldn't give up. So, we kept him and named him Loki, after the Norse God of Mischief (it still fits). One week after we decided to keep Loki, Buddy (0ur rabbit) passed away at the age of 10. We decided that we couldn't have two male animals at the same time. Although that was really just my reaction to the senseless death of my rabbit.

So, when January rolled around, I was getting ready to turn 40 and pondering why animals die so much sooner than humans. And I decided I didn't want to "go" without a fight.

But I wonder... what part of my life do I feel most defines me? I guess the name of the blog pretty much says it all, though that makes me feel kind of sad that I have the most to say about my work life.

I could blog about my children (hardly children anymore!!), my pets, my bike riding adventures.. what about the fact that I'm Diabetic, that I exercise and eat right trying to beat the Grim Reaper? Why does my job title end up being the thing I feel defines me? And why does that make me so uncomfortable?